So the question, then becomes, how do you buy games and not end up getting a bunch of games that you don’t like and then you either have to sell them through something like Facebook Market Place, or you sell them to your FLGS, or give them away to a friend who might like them better.

I’ve written on this topic before, but I think that it’s one that is worth coming back to and that deserves a bit more of a deep dive into it. Because there are a number of things that you can do to determine what games might interest you, and while this might only be a couple of parts, I do want to spend the second part talking about some of the online resources that I use to figure out and what I really enjoy about them.

Beyond those online sources, I’ll talk about that a lot in the next article about the reviewers, actual plays, game teachers, etc. that are really good, there are plenty of other ways to narrow down what games you should purchase.

#1 – Play Games

Now, this one is a catch-22, I realize that. You can’t play games if you don’t have games but that might mean you’re getting games that you don’t like. Thankfully, if you’re in a bigger town/city, a lot of FLGS have either demo games, rental games, or a game library. Play different types of games there, see if you can demo a game that you’re interested in. If that doesn’t exist as an option for you, if other people in your area have some games, play those. This does two things for you, if you play something or demo something that you’re interested in, you’ll be able to determine if you like the game for buying, but that’s a fairly specific situation and it might be that you can’t demo or play a game. But playing games also helps you know what you like. Maybe you like Ascension as a deck building game, but Clank! In! Space! was too complex for you. Now you know that you like the lighter more streamlined deck building game. Playing more games helps you get a better idea of what you look for in a game and what parts of the game that you really like. In the Ascension and Clank! In! Space! example, maybe you don’t like Ascension as well and you realize that deck building isn’t the part in Clank! In! Space! that you really like, it’s the push your luck or the combos or something else.

#2 – Ask For Advice
I’m going to give you three good spots for asking for advice. Your friends, FLGS, and BGG. First, ask people you know, they are going to know your taste the best. Also, they’ll know what they have, so everyone in the group doesn’t need to have Wingspan, for example, but if they know you like engine building games they might recommend something like Res Arcana for you to add. An FLGS is going to be able to help some as well, though they are going to know what is newer and hotter or what’s been on their shelf for a while. But if you get familiar with people at your FLGS, they should be familiar with your tastes and they should ask questions and be able to give advice. So for example, if you say that you like engine building games, they should be able to give you some options. Finally, BGG (Board Game Geek) is useful as well. Not only can you use it for rating games and showing people what you like for them to help give you advice, but it has a built in recommendations feature. For example, going to Wingspan will give you some things like Welcome To.. and other games. Now, the returns are diminishing because your friends will know you best.

#3 – Online
Now, I’m going to talk about who I really like online coming up here, but I want to talk about a few different things that are useful online. First, there are rules videos. These teach you how to play the game. But it also shows you the components and too often the back of board game boxes don’t really tell you enough about how a game works. There are also actual plays, play through of whatever board game it might be. These tend to be a whole lot longer, because you’re literally watching someone play the game. Whereas with the rules overview you get an idea of how the game theoretically works, and actual play will show you in great detail, if you can sit through it. Finally, there are reviewers as well. A lot of them go over some of how the game is played and how it feels to play the game before they give their thoughts. Unlike the other two, this one has much more of a subjective nature to it. So going from rules videos to actual play to a review you’re getting more and more subjective. However, the other two can be much drier than a review, so often reviews give you a better feel and in a shorter amount of time than an actual play.

Those are going to be the top three pieces of advice that I have for buying board games, and figuring out which ones you’d like. I’m going to come back to #3 – Online, next week to talk through various sites and content creators that can be useful when thinking about what you might like. How do you generally pick what game to buy?

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There’s a reason for the focus change in the second question because you won’t be able to get everyone into your hobby, for some people that’s just not interesting. And that’s fine that you can’t get everyone into your hobby, but for those people who seem open to the idea, how can you help them into the hobby without overwhelming them or having an elitist attitude about the hobby?

First, I would start by inviting them to join you in the hobby. You’re looking to create a welcoming space. If someone seems interested in board games or the game you’re playing, if you’re in a public space, ask them if they want to sit down and watch or if they have any questions. Or, if it’s a smaller/fast game, you can maybe even ask them to join in on another game. People aren’t going to be that apt to invite themselves to your table, but you can invite them in. Or if someone is interested in your Sci-Fi books, consider inviting them to join you in reading the book or to a book club that also is reading Sci-Fi. And when you do invite people to that club or to a game night or to your table, it is part of being inviting to make sure that they are having a good time. This doesn’t mean playing the game for them so that they can have the optimal strategy, but it does mean helping them if they get stuck, explaining Sci-Fi terms or who an author might be when they don’t know. It’s about creating that welcoming environment because they are going to feel like an outsider no matter who welcoming your are, but you can make it feel less that way.

Next, don’t overwhelm them. I talked about this in the last article about starting in a new hobby, about how a lot of hobbies can be really overwhelming. How do you pick through all of the Sci-Fi books that came out last year, let alone all the Sci-Fi books that are already out, and the same with board games, or anime, or comic books. So, while you don’t need to have a list of things already to go for new people, because you can do better than that, don’t overwhelm them with a ton of different options either. Instead, using your knowledge of the hobby, ask them about other things that they like, maybe you can tailor it more so. If they like comedy movies, starting with a heavy Sci-Fi book isn’t going to be what they’ll want to start with, instead, you can recommend a lighter Sci-Fi book. Or if they like Sci-Fi movies, don’t pull a fantasy game off of the shelf. I think that there is often a temptation to pull your favorite book or game or anime off the shelf and recommend that, but, if I were to do that with my favorite game, I’d scare people away as Gloomhaven is too much of a monster for a new gamer. So have options of more accessible options for new people into the hobby.

Thirdly, slowly introduce more, and I mean slowly. There’s always a desire to rush someone to the point where you are in the hobby, because then you’ll have more in common to talk about, but that goes back to the overwhelming, you don’t want to do too much too fast. Most people won’t be able to jump into Gloomhaven right away. Let the person who you are leading into the hobby lead the pace they get into the hobby. If they are seeming bored with a type of Sci-Fi book or interested in another type of Sci-Fi book, you know you can move them on. If they really like a game, say, if they really like Dominion as a deck builder, when you’ve played that a handful of times, introduce them to more deck building games. If they start pushing back when you suggest something else, slow back down again. I realize that this might be boring to you at times, but hopefully you’re able to have other gaming groups or other people to discuss Sci-Fi books with, and realize that creating a strong base with the new person to the hobby is going to allow them to more fully join the hobby.

While I’d like to say that these three steps are a guarantee to get someone into your hobby, but it’s not always possible. Some people won’t like it no matter how you go about it, and that’s fine. Not everyone has to be in the same hobby. But also, don’t let that discourage you from trying again with another person or group of people. There will be people out there who just need a nudge to join you in a hobby. I’d also like to say that these aren’t the only things that you need to do to get people into a hobby, there are other tactics that you can take, but these are fairly easy steps that you can do to hopefully introduce someone to a hobby in a way to make them more likely to joint the hobby.

What other suggestions do you have for someone who is trying to bring people into and grow their hobby?

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Alpha gaming is primarily a problem in cooperative games where everyone has their turn, but really one person is deciding what everyone does. Various games try and work around it in different ways, but some of them work better than others, and you can’t always solve the problem. While I say it is an issue primarily or more commonly seen in cooperative games, or so most people would say, I would say that it is pretty common in competitive games as well. The issue in competitive games isn’t so much that they take over your turn for you, but once you’ve gone, the alpha gamer immediately talks about what you did wrong, how you’re giving the game to the person after you, and how it isn’t fair for them because of the seat they got at the table.

So in both game settings this is bad. It ruins the fun for a lot of people and can make them feel like their an idiot or not really playing the game because of what the alpha gamer is saying. We don’t want that to happen because that would drive people away from the hobby, and we want to grow the hobby of board gaming. How do you deal with that if you realize you are the alpha gamer at the table, or if you realize there is an alpha gamer at the table.

If you are the alpha gamer:
Just sit on your hands. It’s going to be tough, because you might not realize how much you do it, but once you realize you do alpha game, work hard at not giving advice until people ask for advice. And don’t complain if someone does something that’s less optimal because it’s them doing it and making the decision.

And when someone does ask for some help, especially in a cooperative game, I suggest doing what I recommend DM’s do for stuck players in an RPG. Give three options of what the person can do. This allows for two things, the player doesn’t feel like you are telling them what to do so it’s still there decision, and the player will probably be able to discern after thinking about it a bit more what the best course of action is, or at least the most fun one for them.

Also, temper your expectations going into board games. This is less in cooperative games and more so in competitive games. I know, not having played but just heard, that in Puerto Rico, if someone does a thing, there are optimal plays for everyone after them at the table. It’s game, if you have a bunch of veteran players and a new player, the person taking their turn directly after the new player has a big advantage. So as an alpha gamer, you might have to temper your expectations in a game like that where this is a new player. Or simply don’t play a game like that with a new player if you know that it’s going to be too frustrating for you. While that might mean you don’t get to play that game as often, know that it probably means when you do play it you’ll have more fun.

If you’re playing with an Alpha Gamer
There are a few things that you can do if an alpha gamer seems to be running the table and everyone’s turn. The most uncomfortable and sometimes necessary is simply talk to the alpha gamer outside of the game session and let them know that they are making it less fun for everyone because they are basically playing the game by themselves. Now, don’t be a jerk about it, but you can ask them to hold of on their advice until someone asks for it so that everyone can get a chance to really play. Hopefully the person is understanding, but if not, maybe only play with certain people with that person, or certain games with that person or maybe, if you can’t handle it, stop playing games with that person. But obviously is that hope that it doesn’t ever come to that.

So what can you do in the moment? It would be awkward to call out the alpha gamer at the table, unless in that very rare occasion that is how it works for your group. But I’d guess that over 90% of gaming groups, that would just be really awkward to do around the table. So instead focus on the other players in the game. When it gets to their turn, ask them what they want to do. If the alpha gamer starts to talk over them, suggest that we hear what the active player wants to do first. And then give them time to talk through it. You can make it your job at the table to facilitate discussion as well. Even if the alpha gamer says what they think should be done, ask the player what they think should be done, or better yet, what they want to do.

If the alpha player gets impatient while everyone else is taking their turn, give them some of the book keeping for the game, if there is any, that they also get to do. Something additional to do in the game might help keep them distracted as well and less likely to alpha game. In Pandemic, put them in charge of flipping the infection deck on everyone’s turn. If you are playing something like Mansions of Madness 2nd Edition, but them in charge of dealing with combat for other players, or other challenges those players might face in the game. Something that can keep them busy so that they aren’t paying as much attention to the game and everyone else can play more of the game.

Obviously, this is something that is tricky to deal with, same with players with analysis paralysis. It’s something that you’re going to have to work out at your table, whether it’s only that the person can give advice when asked, or whatever it might be. Hopefully these suggestions can help you figure out what you want to do at the table when you have an alpha gamer there. Let me know what you’ve found to work in games that you play.

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