This topic came to me because of the Top 10 that Kristen and I did a little while ago. And I do promise that there will be more. It’s tricky during the summer, and we do want to do a little bit of light editing on them to tighten it up some, so that makes the process even longer.

But in that top 10 for TV shows, Kristen had Doctor Who on the list. And she thought that I might have it on my list, but it wasn’t even in my honorable mentions. And if you look at my top 5’s that I’ve done at the end of every year, you’ve been able to see that falling on that list and then off that list.

What does that mean for me having liked that show? Is it okay to have something fall off for you as a fan? And should you feel bad about not being as much of a fan anymore?

Let’s start with the first question, because that has a lot to unpack. What does that mean for me (or you) as a fan of something for a long time and it falling off our list of fandoms we’re big into? And also let’s toss in if we should feel bad about not being a fan anymore as well to our questions.

I think that there are several different emotions that can come through with this process. Both that I can think of easily are betrayal, but from different directions. First, as a fan, when our interest starts to wain in fandom, we can feel like we are being betrayed by the fandom. We want to keep enjoying it, but it isn’t enjoyable to us anymore for whatever the reason might be, and we feel like the show isn’t, but should be, doing what we want and need it to do to keep our interest. There can be plenty of reasons why it doesn’t keep our interests or meet our needs anymore. It can because of the fan base, it can be because of the show/movie/book/comic/etc. itself where the quality or the storyline has changed to not match our expectations, or it can be because we’ve changed our place in life or our mindset in life, and now the fandom doesn’t meet our needs anymore. The feeling that it betrayed us can also lead to resentment for what it did previously. Sometimes this is valid, but most of the time, we need to remember that the betrayal we’re feeling about where it’s ended up doesn’t undo what we used to love about it, and doesn’t invalidate our good times with the fandom before.

But, you can also feel like you are betraying the fandom. That’s why I combined two of the questions here, because as a fan, we often have to deal with our own emotions of feeling like we need to force ourselves to like something still, or if we don’t like something anymore, we are betraying it. As fans though, it isn’t our requirement to like something and it isn’t reasonable to think that we won’t have changing tastes throughout our lives. Also, if the thing we’re a fan of is good, even if it’s not for us anymore, it’s going to be growing, and fans will be being added, maybe not as fast as we’d hope, but us leaving the fandom isn’t going to cause the fandom to crumble. And the fandom, as a whole, isn’t going to be insulted that we don’t like something anymore. And even our friends in the fandom, if they are true friends, aren’t going to be resentful if we don’t love it like we used to. Now, I will add in the caveat that we need to be respectful when we leave, this comes back to remembering our good times with something and not letting our current feelings invalidate what has been before.

Let’s tackle that last question quickly as well, is it fine to stop being a fan of something?

The answer to that should be pretty obvious, the answer is yes. People change as they grow in life, as they develop new interests, and as what they are of a fan of changes. We shouldn’t feel like we are betraying something or being betrayed by it, because change is a natural progression of life. And while it might feel like you won’t find something the same or that you’re leaving something important behind, you’ll find things to replace it. I used to be much more into movies than I am now, or Doctor Who as the example was to start, but, let’s go with movies. The reason that I’m less into movies now is that with a 7 month old, it’s harder to watch movies and sleep. Movies are simply too often too long, and while I make an exception for Marvel movies pretty often, I’m much more apt to watch TV (and recorded TV shows at that), because two episodes is an hour and a half which is shorter than a lot of movies.

Another reason it’s fine to stop being a fan of something, is that you might come back to it. I might come back to Doctor Who. I might come back to movies, it’s just a season in my life where these things aren’t as meaningful to me. We have to remember as fans of stuff, that just because we stop liking something doesn’t mean that we can’t come back to it. And if someone we know leaves a fandom and then wants to come back later, we need to be welcoming. I think that can be an intimidating piece that keeps fans in a fandom longer than they’d want, because they are worried about getting back into it, if their fandom is peaked again.

It’s a tough topic to write about in some ways. I think with Doctor Who, there was just enough effort keeping up with it that it made falling away from it pretty easy. But thinking about it, the seasons and episodes that I do love, I do want to watch again sometime. So it isn’t like I’ve completely divorced myself from Doctor Who, and I’m sure at some point in time I’ll be back to it as something draws me back in, but when that happens, that will be the time. I can’t spend time feeling bad for any reason, because there are so many other great things to be a fan of.

What is something that you’ve had your fandom wain on? Did you feel bad about it, like it was betraying you or you were betraying it?

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