We’ve all played a board game, or a multiplayer video game or a sport where we’ve won. We’ve all played one of those things where we’ve lost. But how important is winning, how important is losing? In particular, how important is it to win at a board game?

How Important Is Winning?

Now, this is probably a pretty open question that depends on the person. For some people, winning at a game is extremely important. They play board games to win and if they don’t win, they aren’t happy about it. Or they want to go again because to them playing a board game is about winning.

For other people, winning might not be important at all. They play board games so that they can hang out with people. They want the fun social interaction you get at the table around the activity of board gaming. For them, getting together at the table to play a board game, the board game is the reason but not always the point.

Is One Way Better?

No, neither way is better, and a blend of both of them is healthy. Where both of them become bad is when people take them to the extreme. Let’s look at two examples.

I pull out a board game. I have new players and experienced players at the table. The experienced player really needs to win, so they absolutely destroy the new player.

On the other side, I pull out an easy game and I have someone who is just there to socialize. It gets to their turn and they don’t notice, haven’t planned anything and continue a conversation for five more minutes before actually looking at the board. And when they do they just slap a move together to get back to talking.

You can see how both of these when taken to an extreme aren’t ideal. I’ve talked about this with board games nights before. The point of a game night is in the title, it’s to play games. That doesn’t mean that socializing doesn’t happen, but it also doesn’t meant that gaming is lost at the expense.

So How Do You Balance It?

The way I’ve heard this described is that you try to win but winning isn’t everything. It’s more about having fun while at the table. For some people fun is only winning, but going back to something I talk about with RPG’s, it’s about the whole table having fun. Thanks again to The RPG Academy for that.

So what does this look like in practice. In practice it means, if I’m an analysis paralysis player who must win, I find a move that will help me and I take that move. It might not be the perfect or ideal move, but I keep the game moving. If I am a social player, it means I pay more attention to the game. I notice when my turn comes up without being told. I pause my conversation and take a good move for me and then can return to the conversation.

These aren’t hard things. They keep the game moving in both cases and they both players take moves to help themselves win.

Anything Else To Do?

I think there are, I think that players need to think about what group they might fall into. Do they need to win, do they need to talk? And split up into different groups sometimes. The trick can be that some players need to win and need to talk and that is trickier.

Also, going back to a board game night, think about who is coming. If you mainly have people who want to socialize, go with lighter games. Go with shorter games. That way when a game drags out a bit, you aren’t that long and people aren’t losing what is going on. It’s fine to just play party games. On the flip side, if you have winning gamers, go with bigger and tougher games. That way when their turn takes longer, the game is already longer so it doesn’t stand out as much. And if you have both, don’t hesitate to split into two groups during the night.

So, really, winning is important in a game. That is what games are for, you play them for the experience and to try to win. But winning isn’t everything and at least at my table will never be the only focus. Talking and conversations will happen. We’ll get up and get food or a drink, but when it’s your turn, you take it with the intention of trying to win.

Do you fall more on the must win side of social side of board gaming?

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