Fancoms are weird and consistently weird in one area. I get that there is passion in fandoms but there is one area that it drives me up the wall. I’m going to be talking about this in board games. It is one where I see it happen, but it’s not just limited to board games. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that it’s in all fandoms. But let’s get into what I mean.

Favorite vs Best and Dislike vs Worst in Fandoms

Let’s start here and talk about what the issue is. And I’ll talk about why I saw it come up. It was a post on one of the board game groups on Facebook. “What’s a board game that you’d never recommend?” Firstly, provocative and not great for the hobby because it’s just going to make people get defensive. The bigger issue, though, wasn’t the question, it was the responses.

And before I make a broad sweeping statement, there were good responses in there. We’ll get to what makes a bad one versus a good one in a second. But most of the responses were along the lines of – “This popular game is the worst.”. Which that has several issues with it. Let’s start to break it down as we look into the issue here.

Favorite vs Best and Dislike vs Worst

I know that I fall into this trap sometimes. But it’s one that I’m very aware of, so I think about it when I see it pop up in fandoms. The difference between what I find to be my favorite and objectively the best. Or what I dislike and what is the worst. Fandoms like to slap the best and worst tags onto things when they really mean their most or least favorite. And for a healthy fandom it’s knowing that difference and then allowing space to create that dialog after saying a favorite or least favorite.

Now, I’m going to make another sweeping statement here. I find that almost no fandoms are doing this well. It’s an issue that is driving people out of fandoms which is why I wanted to write about. And I should be clear, I’m not calling out a specific person or the person who asked the provocative question. Those can be fine discussion points. But it requires awareness on that difference between what I like and what is best versus what I dislike and what is worst.

A Non-Board Game Example

Let’s talk about an example of what I mean about this. And I’ll go with myself with both a positive and a negative.

I dislike Captain America: Civil War

That’s a provocative statement. A lot of people really like that film. But if someone were to ask me a Marvel movie I think is overrated, I’d say that I just don’t get the love for Civil War. But as I talk about it, I’m not going to say, your opinion is invalid or make statements like Civil War is the worst. Instead, I’m going to say, something along the lines of, it didn’t work for me because while the accords were the starting point, it became about Bucky and how Captain America was going to be right about Bucky no matter what.

Let’s do the flip side.

I really enjoy The Last Witch Hunter with Vin Diesel

This is objectively not a great film. The plot is not amazing. The action sequences are fine and the acting is so so at best. But I really enjoy this movie. It is definitely more serious than it should be, but there is something about it being played seriously that just makes it more entertaining to me. But I understand it’s not the best movie out there. In fact, if someone were to ask me if I’d recommend it, I’m not sure I’d always say yes. If I say yes, there would be caveats for sure.

Fixing the Problem

So how do you fix the problem? And let me say, this is a problem. This is something that fandoms are doing that is actively chipping away and eroding the fandom that they love. Because the mindset is, you need to love this fandom in the way that I love it.

So let’s go back to the question, how do you fix the problem? Firstly, understand language. Know that best and worst mean best and worst. Whether that is your intent or not, you might mean favorite or least favorite, best and worst especially on the internet raise hackles. People respond being defensive and dialog and discourse can’t be had.

Dialog is a Healthy Goal

A healthy looking fandom can have a ton of differing opinions. And it should encourage discussion around it. When I say, I dislike Civil War, or when I say that I dislike whatever popular board game, I open up a conversation on it. I can say, I dislike how the plot focuses on Bucky and a gut feeling as the catalyst for most of the movie. Or with Dominion, let’s use that as a board game example, I can say, I dislike how it feels like the game can play itself and it’s who identifies the optimal strategy from the beginning.

Now instead of saying that Dominion is the worst, I’ve made it clear what doesn’t work about it for me. Let’s go back to the example of a “game that you’d never recommend.” Because I did see both healthy ones and non-healthy responses for fandoms.

Real Life Examples

First let’s start with a more positive one. One person said that they didn’t like Flamecraft and followed it up that they would still recommend it to some people even though it wasn’t for them. This is a great example of understanding the value of a game. They maybe found it too simple in what it was doing, they didn’t get into details. But they didn’t dismiss something because it wasn’t for them. Also, because it wasn’t completely dismissive people felt comfortable to ask questions and to not come back at it defensively.

On the flip side, most of them were written in styles of “Spirit Island” or “Terraforming Mars is bad.” Making a statement of just a game name is pretty traditional online. I say that I find “x” to be an issue so I just write “x”. But it doesn’t encourage dialog. It is read as a blanket statement. The same with calling something bad. Both shutdown dialog and for people who love those games, they are beloved, it’s fighting words.

Final Thoughts on Fixing Like vs Best and Dislike vs Worst in Fandoms

This is something I really do want to see fixed. I saw poor actors, meaning people who didn’t have positive intent, show up in things that I’ve liked before. Doctor Who is a great example of this. I love Doctor Who, Capaldi was not my favorite Doctor so I fell away during his time. But that is only part of the reason. The fandom is another part of the reason. The fandom became less inclusive and more combative in nature.

I still like Doctor Who. I want to checkout some of the new stuff that is coming out. My wife and I talk about going back and rewatching the stuff we really like. But it is harder to want to come back when I know that the fanbase is not that accepting. Now, maybe that has changed, but it is hard to reintroduce myself into that fandom or want to.

So the reason I talk about this and talk about intentionality is that I want fandoms where people can join, grow and appreciate a series, board games, movies, whatever it might be, for different elements that resonate with them. And that people can spend time and have discussions about what works and what doesn’t for them because it’s an opinion and discussions and conversations are healthy. So converse, even online, with intention and the hobby or fandoms that you love will grow and be a better place for it.

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